i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
