You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
