Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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