I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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