Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I've blown a few things in my day
operation harelip BJ is a go
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
