Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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