wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
