My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
