I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I smell like Dick and happiness
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