My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
