You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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