So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
