he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
