so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Semen is not good for contacts.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize