your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
