I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
