I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
