i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
