We're facebook friends in real life
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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