I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
