im about as happy as oj after his trial
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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