Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
