If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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