Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
