In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
