The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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