I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
