Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
