If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
