Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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