Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
