this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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