Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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