bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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