I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
