The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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