We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
