you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
