Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
