She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
