OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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