I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
