Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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