I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
