No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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