yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
