Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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