I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
