When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
