people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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