so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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