Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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