How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize