p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
