The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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