that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
