Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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