I forgot how hot balto sounded
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize