five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
