capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
