i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize