last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
