my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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