You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
