he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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