Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
